Blessings

Coming home has been hard, it always is. I expected nothing different this time and on many ways it wasn't different. I still wanted to cry going to bed alone, I still would almost cry when being in malls/grocery stores/etc, I still struggled in church where I long for a close community like the one I left. I just struggled with being home where things are different.
But one thing changed this time, I don't know how or what it was that changed but coming home was just different this time. Most times when I come home most of the things I come home to are different= not good, this time different was okay.
I have had a month filled with blessings and love. So for the rest of this post today I thought I would show you a few pictures to give you a very brief look at my month.

Lucy Grace accidentally took my journal home. All is forgiven because this is what I found inside

Baby Cousin born just after I got home!
Way to wait Marshall!!!

Made new memories with new friends!! 

Had delicious adventures

Lots of tea and coffee has been consumed. This is Kayla she's
awesome! Been friends since forever, literally I remember her in kindergarten.

Saw a friend get married!!! YAY!

Spent some time with old friends

Finally lots of time consuming delicious non-instant coffee and hanging out with Jesus.

This was a month that I can honestly look back say that I do not wish was anywhere else. So please pray with me that I walk through September in more obedience and the same desire to be intentional, that I wouldn't get bogged down with life.

Love you!

Ashley

Its not as dangerous as you think...

Watching the sun set on the island of Santorini Greece (summer 2008)

Playing with some children in Swaziland (Fall 2007) 

Alright so clearly I believe in traveling the world. However I always struggled with how to express and defend my view of traveling young. I personally graduated high school and proceeded to travel off and on for the next year before going back to school. Since then I have continued to travel during breaks from classes mostly in the summers. Taking a year off was the best decision I have ever made for many reasons that I would love to share with people when they ask.
Back to the reason for the post is that I recently stumbled upon a great article that talks about traveling young. I think that it expresses truths that I believe in and its an interesting read. So please click on the link  and enjoy, its definitely worth five minutes of your day...

http://convergemagazine.com/featured/travel-young/

Love you

Ashley

Mask shopping in Venice Italy (Summer 2008)

Pray Simply

Recently I have had a number of conversations with people about prayer. Its something that I think that every christian struggles with at different points in their lives. They questions like these how do you pray? whats right to say? whats wrong with my prayers? Am I praying wrong? Is it even possible to pray the wrong way? Do my prayers need to be pretty? Do I need to yell when I pray? If I am not hearing God is that a sign that he doesn't love me? and on and on. These are just some of the questions I have been asked or ask the Lord myself.

I honestly don't have a lot of answers, my prayer life is not perfect. Sure God and I are currently in a good place but we have been through a lot. There was a lot of trial and error on my part with learning how I communicate best with the Lord, what works best for us probably wouldn't work for most people, but it works for us. 

So because I have really very little advise to give regarding prayer God gave me this: 

"When you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers; hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?

Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you wont be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They're full of formulas and programs and advise, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don't fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father in heaven.
Reveal who you are.
Set the world right;
Do what's best-
     as above, so below.
Keep us alive with three square meals.
Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.
Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.
You're in charge!
You can do anything you want!
You're ablaze in beauty!
    Yes. Yes. Yes.

In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part. 

When you practice some appetite-denying discipline to better concentrate on God, don't make a production out of it. It might turn you into a small-time celebrity but it wont make you a saint. If you 'go into training' inwardly, act normal outwardly. Shampoo and comb your hair, brush you teeth, wash you face. God doesn't require attention-getting devices. He wont overlook what you are doing; he'll reward you well."
Matthew 6:5-18 (MSG)

I added the bold points for parts that I liked, or talked to me but I hope that this helps you. I hope that for those of you that have a great prayer life that this encourages you and for those who are struggling I hope that it takes off some of the pressure. Remember that its your Father your talking to, He already created the world for you, you do not need to impress him. Just talk to him. 

Remember to do your part, talk to him. Be intentional with him, don't give up because you think its hard push through. Listen to him and for him. Most of all don't be to hard on yourself, prayer is supposed to be a wonderful thing don't let it become a task or a chore.

Finally if you need a little help with your prayer life, go to the word. Its wonderfully full of good things that can help you and encourage you.

Love, 
Ashley

We are kingdom subjects

"In a word, what I am saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you." Matthew 5:48 (MSG)

Do you feel convicted. I do. This verse was both refreshing and convicting. I have definitely found myself every once in a while throwing a tantrum in the privacy of my own room or shower because life is not the way I want it to be. Or because God is asking me to forgive someone who has wronged me, etc. But here is the truth, we are kingdom subjects and we need to act like. We need to grow up and live out what we believe, this means getting out of our houses and churches and loving people.

I read a article recently that talks about how Christians should be having parties and inviting people into their homes. I also know a couple who are church planting. They believe in being present in their community, and so every week they as a "church" gather together with those in the community and eat together.

We need to live out what we say we believe in, I know I am guilty of failing in this way but I commit to working harder. Or actually not working harder, surrendering more everyday. I commit to allowing the people around me hold me accountable by asking me how I have been listening to the Lord and acting on what I believe. 

Ministry

Alright here's the deal, I promised to write a blog about the ministry that the students did while we were Kenya. But I am struggling to write that blog, the ministries that we worked with are great and the students I think for the most part loved being apart of them. However that was not my ministry, my ministry was my team. I was there to love them unconditionally, encourage them, to call out the greatness that God placed inside of them and make sure that their basic needs were being fulfilled. Most of the things that I did on a daily basis are not things most people want to hear about.  They are stories about students realizing they are beautiful, worthy, chosen, called, strong, warriors and world changers etc.

Just some team cuddle time

That was my ministry. It was incredible and it made all of the hard times, the days of being sick, of cleaning up vomit, never sleeping, finances all worth it. I would walk through my month in Kenya again to see my students set free from the lies that they have been told all their lives. Lies like that they are children and cannot make a difference, that they are ugly, dumb, they are unworthy of love. This ministry was perfect for me seeing as my passion is to see people set free from the lies that they believe about themselves.

Doing Hospital Forms (paperwork)

I am sorry that this is so unglamorous and probably not what you wanted to hear, but I am proud of my ministry. I am proud that I got to be a trip leader, I am proud that part of ministry was making sure the team ate and didn't run out of money. I am proud that I got to pray over and for our team continuously. This is a ministry that I love and cannot wait to again be apart of.

However if you are curious about what they did...

They held countless services for all age groups (literally preschool all the way to adults in church). They also went to different schools and hosted services there.

They held, cuddled, loved, played, sang, with beautiful African Children

They went door to door talking to people, praying for them and encouraging them in their faith.

I hope that this was okay and maybe someday I will write more about the things that we saw and did but this is all I have for now. However if you are really interested please talk to me and I would love to tell you more in person.

Love you!

Ashley

**Side note pictures are again stolen from various people on my team...

I climb every mountain with my hands wide open

Sorry I have disappeared for so long, my computer broke and to be honest I have been a little broken myself.

How do I describe my life right now?

Its crazy/wonderful/fulfilling/hard/broken/painful

Intrigued?

Me too.

I struggle with how to share what is going on right now, I want to be honest I want to share my joy and my pain. However sometimes or most days I go through more emotions than I could try to put labels on, the truth is that this season as wonderful as it is, has still been really really hard.

I want to be in Africa. I want to know what next week looks like. I want to know what next month will look like. I want to know where I will get a job. I want to know my purpose of being in Calgary is. I want to know Gods exact plan of how he is going to provide for me is. I want to know why my heart has to be broken. I just want to know.
I also want to know why this last year was so hard. I want to know why Africa was so hard. I want to know why I was so sick in Africa. I want to know why things never went according to plan. I want to know why our kids did not come home more changed from Africa. I want to understand.

These are the things that I am struggling with right now.

However not everything is bleak, God is still good.

Everyday I look back at my day and see how good it was, I can see how God orchestrated it to be good for me. I see how some days are about breaking me a little more, or teaching me more grace, or how to love even when its hard. Some days which are days that I like better I get to see how God is using me to move in Calgary. Most days I look at my day and I feel joyful, full of unknowable peace because I know that I was walking totally within the Lords plan all day.

I have been so incredibly blessed all month since getting home, people have loved me in all the ways that I have needed. I have been incredibly blessed by peoples time, ears, and loving hearts. I have been challenged, and allowed to challenge them. This has been possibly my richest time in Calgary ever and I feel very blessed. For once I am not dreading the next several months in Calgary, instead I am looking forward to seeing God move here and what he does in me.

That's me right now.

All that being said, I love you. I want to be in community with you if you are reading this. I want to also know your joys and pains. I want to pray for you and with you. Message me.

Love you!
Ashley

P.S. If you know of any job opportunities let me know because I am officially looking.